32. Sack full of White Castle burgers [magus]
31. PC Games from the CompUSA clearance rack. [peterb]
30. A scheme reference manual [kosak]
29. A one-year subscription to slashdot. [peterb]
28. RS/6000 keyboard [rochberg]
27. RS/6000 [rochberg]
26. Anything from the CS machine room "pile of hideously old and useless machines" [peterb]
25. _Dianetics_ [magus]
24. Puppies. Dead ones. [peterb]
23. All-you-can-eat pork sushi. [magus]
22. Anything Amish. [peterb]
21. "Churn Your Own Butter And Save" instructional video [magus]
20. A gift certificate to Jenny Craig [peterb]
19. Unopened can of sterno. [peterb]
18. Only-a-little-burnt decorative candles. [rochberg]
17. A family membership to *http://www.touchstoneint.com/ [kosak]
16. Night Train [rochberg]
15. Copy of American literary classic "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" [peterb]
14. Case of Zima [jslttery]
13. If recipient is Jewish, consider a handwritten note expressing your deep gratitude for his or her enabling the peace and love of Christmastime by killing Christ [peterb]
12. http://ship-of-fools.com/Gadgets/Gadget [magus]
11. html [magus]
10. 2 pound pack of Carob 'n Raisins Oatmeal Cookies. [rochberg]
9. A dime bag of foot powder. [peterb]
8. Herpes [magus]
7. deodorants [bsy]
6. Mpingo disks. [peterb]
5. Install Linux on their PC. [peterb]
4. Encourage them to apply to the SCS PhD program [kosak]
3. Give the gift of life. Fuck their girl/boyfriend. [peterb]
2. Sponsored Membership to http://www.bfree.org/ [magus]
1. Show your love by loving their loved ones; steal their pets and give them to better families. [magus]