23. can't use it on saturdays, cutting down on weekend hacking [psu]
22. Use of unclean variable named is forbidden. [peterb]
21. Extraneous features cut out [scottd]
20. Bjarne NOT considered the messiah [kosak]
19. Sinful to invoke the compiler by its name [acm]
18. no graven images in web site documentation [psu]
17. Programs function well until they are 'in production' and then they just spit out errors and warnings all the time, bloat, and ask why they don't get upgraded more often. [peterb]
16. Before linking, you need to smash a glass under your foot [kosak]
15. Mixing of templates and operator overloading is forbidden [kosak]
14. Compiling with -Wall guaranteed to drive you insane. [peterb]
13. -Wall renamed -Nudge [psu]
12. Name mangling scheme replaced by "noshing" [kosak]
11. Header files may never be trimmed. [peterb]
10. All 3rd party libraries must be blessed by a Rabbi before being used. [honus]
9. Automatically sends copies of all private data on your system to Israel, then whines about fairness when busted. [peterb]
8. Parses files right-to-left rather than left-to-right [acm]
7. -pedantic rejects source files which contain vowels. [peterb]
6. "Internal compiler error" replaced by "smite" [acm]
5. Numerology module automatically eliminates misleading hidden prophecies in your code [kosak]
4. Truly adherent must compile mitzvah.cc once a day. [rochberg]
3. Privileged programs compiled with jcc run as r::t. [peterb]
2. jcc is a preprocessor, compiler, assembler, and linker, but it really wanted to be a doctor. [peterb]
1. Compiles the program you asked it to, then begins compiling all system tools and editors and complains that ``you don't like the way I compile things?'' when you tell it to stop. [dmaltz]