14. Knows if a newsstory has already been zephyred, without having to check the zarchives. [clamen]
13. Left buttock invariably twitches mysteriously 10 seconds before gusciora enters a discussion [scottd]
12. Knows outside weather conditions at all times [jch]
11. Always wins zephyr timestamp races. [jch]
10. Never accidentally zephyrs to the wrong instance [scottd]
9. Can tailor zgrams so that they'll be cubed by sprite everytime, but chooses not to. [clamen]
8. No one can figure out when he/she sleeps. [roc]
7. No typos. [roc]
6. Occasionally gets more ++'s in a day than dkindred [scottd]
5. Consistently answers help questions before dkindred or andrzej can get to them. [roc]
4. Consistently answers help questions that have dkindred and andrzej stumped. [roc]
3. Takes calm, reasoned positions on topics of the day, such as java. [pdinda]
2. Immune to gusciora bait [jch]
1. Outweirds sprite [scottd]